There are very few things that I am a label whore about, when it comes to food. I’ll pretty much buy the generic brand of just about anything.

Except Mayonnaise.
As far as I’m concerned only one brand of Mayonnaise exists, and that is Hellman’s. Nothing is as creamy, as rich, or as all around delightful. Hellman’s on a tomato sandwich? Bliss. On A club? Perfection? On a fried eggs sandwich with a little kosher salt? I just drooled on my keyboard.

mayoSo one can imagine my terror when I go to the grocery store, skip lightly down the condiment aisle and discover it. THERE IS NO HELLMAN’S MAYONNAISE. Kraft? Check. Weird house brand? Check. But where oh where was that lovely plastic container with the yellow and blue label and blue top? Nowhere to be found.

I had sacrificed Imo’s Pizza, Ted Drewes, Sen Thai, and White Castle. I had done so graciously, but this simply could not stand. I immediately began to repack my belongings and plan for the trip home.

I called my mom to give her my return flight information when she dropped a little pearl of wisdom. Hellman’s is Best Foods West of the Rockies.

WHAT? Why would a product have two different names based on a seemingly arbitrary geographic boundary? (You can find the answer to that question here )

Crisis averted, sandwiches saved.